Empty days


I have some seriously empty days ahead of me (and behind me, I suppose?) I am constantly asking myself — What if I took the internship? What if I applied to more jobs? I seriously feel like a housewife because I sit on my butt all morning and then make Paul lunch and dinner when he comes home. It is interesting actually living with him. I spent most of my time at his apartment last semester, but that was a living-together without the marked appearance of my boxes of possessions, “girl-crap” everywhere and unshakable presence. I wake up, check Facebook and look at my latest cancer-afflicted child page (I don’t send prayers but good wishes count, right?), rummage through the STOCKED cabinets, fridge and freezer and proceed to fall back asleep. I currently have three hours a week lifeguarding at a nearby pool until June 4. Not much time left, I suppose, but this inactivity is not really sitting well with my typically active self. I had all these plans for working out and yoga, but I am hesitant to spend money whilst not making any, my running shoes are too tight and I am just filled with apathy surrounding everything except internet trolling and bed. 😛 I hope I won’t look back on this month of lethargy with regret. 


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